i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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