it was like his penis was on wheels.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
