there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
