you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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