I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
tequila makes me forget i have legs
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
