Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
