matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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