it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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