they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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