If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
