who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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