I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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