used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
