I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
