Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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