In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
