DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
