you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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