I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
