we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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