is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she pinky promised me she was 18
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
