Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
