what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
