You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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