i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
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Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
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The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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