I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
