Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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