he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
handjob tips. give me some.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
