I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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