Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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