So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize