But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
