Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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