We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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