Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
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We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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