brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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