So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
