Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
