guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
