I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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