Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
