Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
