Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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