I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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