I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
