There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So vagazzling was a success
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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