guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
