ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
