Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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