Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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