glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
