There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
