Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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