very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
