i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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