You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
