but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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