just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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