I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
