I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
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Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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