is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
