Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
