Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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