I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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