Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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