listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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