Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
