I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize