in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
home. puking in laundry basket.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
