haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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